How to Resolve Any Conflict

 

Today, I want to share a communication technique that guarantees that resolution to a conflict will happen sooner.

This is the fourth part of a series on how to better communicate, especially when the stakes are high or the conversation is difficult. Communication is vital in our relationships with...

  • co-workers
  • family
  • friends
  • anyone!

So, if you're just joining us, be sure to catch part one: Read the Room, part two: Speak Their Language and part three: Stay Focused.

Now, let's get into the fourth technique.

This is a technique I learned in my counseling career, and it goes like this:

If you're having a problem with someone, let them talk first.

Let them tell you every detail about what's going on, and all you do is listen.

No retort. No going back.

Just listening.

When they're done explaining how they feel, you repeat what you heard back to them.

Then, it's their opportunity again to say, nope, what I meant was _____________.

You come back with, okay, what I heard was this.

You continue this part of the conversation until they feel completely heard. This is going to lower the resistance.

The next part of the conversation is your opportunity to voice your perspective. And they can repeat back what they've heard.

When you're done with this process, you both will know you've been heard.

The anxiety, the anger, and the fear will have decreased. You'll be able to find a compromise quicker.

Try this technique.

And let me know how it goes.

I can't wait to hear about the resolution you have and the compromises you make.

Stay Focused

communication Apr 17, 2024
 

Too often in a conversation, we are not actually listening. We are thinking about what we'll say next. 

Today, I want to share a tip to help you stay focused on the person you're talking with.

This is the third part of a series on how to better communicate, especially when the stakes are high or the conversation is difficult. Communication is vital in our relationships with...

  • co-workers
  • family
  • friends
  • anyone!

So, if you're just joining us, be sure to catch part one: Read the Room and part two: Speak Their Language.

Now, let's dive into the 3rd technique:

Staying focused on the conversation.

So many times when we're talking to people, we're thinking about what we are going to say next instead of what they are really presenting to us.

We're usually not even aware that we're doing it.

So see if you can catch yourself doing it. Then, try this technique to bring your focus back to what the other person is saying:

Think of a question you can ask them so they can expand and feel heard.

What could you ask to grasp what they are saying more clearly?

Instead of worrying about how to say the thing you want to share next, you are intentionally seeking to understand.

When people feel heard, they're more comfortable, and conflicts are resolved so much faster.

Next week, we'll dive into this a little deeper with the 4th technique.

Hint: It's a guaranteed way to resolve conflicts faster.

You don't want to miss it.

I hope you have an amazing day!

Speak Their Language

communication Apr 10, 2024
 

This week we are continuing our month-long focus on communication.

The second technique I want to share with you is to speak their language.

Communication is incredibly important in our relationships with...

  • co-workers
  • family
  • friends
  • anyone!

You can use these techniques to better communicate in any situation, but they're especially helpful when the stakes are high or the conversation is a difficult one.

Once you've paused to read the room (technique #1), it's time to speak their language. 

I have interpreted for professors that use huge words, and the kids have no idea what they're talking about.

The professor is not speaking their language. The message goes right over the kid's heads.

If you work in the HR department, and you're going to talk to someone in IT, you wouldn't use a bunch of HR acronyms. You'd want to avoid jargon and talk on the same level.

With kids, you might ask yourself – what do they know about the world so far? Then, you can speak their language. 

This is also related to culture. Where are they coming from? Some cultures are very direct. Some are very polite. Some use stories to get points across. Consider the culture and background of the person you're speaking with, so that you can speak their language.

What words can you use so they can more clearly understand what you're saying?

It's not about showing off what you know, it's about considering what they know and connecting with them on the same level. 

Next week, we're going to talk about a third technique that will let you zero in on their perspective.

Have an amazing day!

Read the Room

 

For the next few weeks, we're going to talk about communication.

These are lessons that I've learned as a sign language interpreter that I would love to share with you.

This can be used to communicate with...

  • co-workers
  • family
  • friends

Or you can apply it in any situation where you're going to have an important discussion or tough conversation.

The first technique I've learned is to read the room.

You can sense when you're walking into a situation and it's not great. You can feel the energy.

Even though you might be in a really good mood, keep this in mind when you approach the person. How are they feeling?

  • Are they stressed?
  • Are they scared?
  • Are they happy?

You can use this awareness to shape how you are going to approach the situation.

It's about energy. By tuning into the other person, you know how to begin the conversation.

Next week, we're going to talk about how to speak their language.

You Never Know Where Gifts Will Come From

abundance gratitude Mar 27, 2024
 

I had a really cool realization this week.

If you've been following me lately, you know that my RV (home) broke down in Arkansas when I took a friend on a fishing trip.

It's been down for several weeks, and I'm living with my ex-husband until it's fixed.

Thank goodness, my ex and I are getting along now.

Anyway, I'm so thankful and grateful to be staying in a place surrounded by trees. The best part is I get to take my dog "Cutie Pie" on an hour-long hike every day.

Right near the house is this huge park where you can hike with nothing but trees and grass for miles and miles and miles. I'm surrounded by nature.

I realized – I'm living part of my vision statement right now.

It's not a house surrounded by trees, but it's near and I'm taking advantage of it.

I'm getting this gift because my RV broke down and I don't have a home right now.

You never know where the gifts are going to come from.

Have you received an unexpected gift lately? Or suddenly realized that something unfortunate can have a flip side that's a gift? I'd love to hear more. 

And I encourage you to keep your eyes and ears open for unexpected gifts in your own journey!

 

Blessings From a Double Blowout

blessings gratitude Mar 21, 2024
 

Last week, you might remember that I took my friend on an RV fishing trip to Arkansas.

Well. . . on the way home I had a double blowout.

My brakes were severed. I waited for AAA for 6 hours and they never came.

But an angel came and did change the tire for me.

It (the RV) has to be there for several weeks for repair. I had to drop it and drive back to Texas and I'm now living with my ex-husband and son.

But here's the great part.

There's been so many blessings. I've been able to have some awesome conversations and work through a lot with my ex-husband.

I had a conversation with my son that wouldn't have happened if we had gone back to the trailer.

So, when terrible things happen, like I lost my home for several weeks, so much can come.

I said to myself, what's my lesson? What's my opportunity?

My opportunity was to grow amazing relationships, get to a new place and realize what I love. . . that I love living in my own home.

So recognize the blessings that come with terrible things that happen in your life.

Know that they are coming.

Cherish Today

live in the moment Mar 13, 2024
 

Today, I'm on the Little Red River in Heber Springs, Arkansas.

I brought my 87-year-old friend, Gary, here for fishing.

My message for you is to take advantage of every day because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

This may be Gary's last fishing trip, so I wanted to bring him.

And my wonderful brother that I love so much lost his dear Aunt KK this last week.

Talked to her one day, and the next day she was gone.

So please, cherish today.

Cherish your friends.

Don't forget to tell anybody that you love them.

Do what you love.

Find joy.

Because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

 

2 Weeks Notice

do what you love Mar 06, 2024
 

I have some exciting news.

I teach: Don't stay somewhere if you're miserable, because God is the source. You will be provided for.

Have faith and trust.

And that's what I did last week.

I recently moved to San Antonio, and I asked for a sign language interpreter position at a high school because it's easy.

You honestly get paid to read. And it's consistent.

I needed some stability because I was new, didn't have any friends, didn't know the layout.

But since I've been here, it's been a very negative environment – a lot of cussing from the kids, a lot of disrespect.

I  realized I'm not happy here anymore.

So I turned in my two-week resignation.

And ever since then, so many doors have opened up so I could begin speaking again. And that is truly what I want to do – teaching about these thought principles I teach.

So what's my point?

Have faith.

Have trust.

Know that you will be taken care of.

As they say, the Lord will provide. 

The Hardest Part of Manifesting

 

I think is the hardest step of manifesting is to surrender.

Writing a vision statement....no problem.

Meditating on it...I can do that.

The next step is surrender, to give it up to the universe – having faith and trust that it's coming to you.

Here's the thing. All you need to know is the what. . . and not the how.

When you're given that intuitive pull, you follow through.

But we still try to control the how. 

My question (and challenge) for you today is this:

What can you surrender to the universe and trust and allow it to come into your life?

 

How to Prioritize Your Goals

 

Let's talk about prioritizing our goals.

I was talking to a friend who is scattered. He wants to do a podcast. He wants to create more classes. He wants to bring in more clients.

He wants to, wants to, wants to....

Well, you know the saying about having too many irons in the fire.

He is trying to do soooo many things that he's completely overwhelmed.

He's frozen. And he's not doing ANY of them!

Have you ever felt this way?

I advised my friend to identify the most important goals out of all the things he wants to do.

He's going to start by writing everything down, circle the top three, break them down into steps, and create a timeline of when to get them done. He'll take some of the other irons out of the fire for now.

If you're feeling overwhelmed like my friend, I will say the same thing to you.

  1. First, take a deep breath, and if you've been frozen by overwhelm, let yourself thaw out.
  2. Write down all the things you want or need to do.
  3. Circle the top three priorities. You're going to focus exclusively on them.
  4. Break these priorities down into small, actionable steps. (By the way, you don't need to know all the steps. Figure out the first few and trust that the path will become clear as you take action.)
  5. Create a timeline for getting them done. 

As Frank Sonnenberg says,  “If everything’s a priority, then nothing’s a priority.”

So, what are your top three? 

Share them with me or a friend to broadcast your intentions loud and clear!

I hope you have an amazing day.

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